Guest post by: Adria Nemeroff, in memory of Peter Falkowski
The last week of June, Peter and I planned to take my son to Williamsburg, VA for a week to enjoy some history and fun in the sun. I rented a two-bedroom condo and Peter would drive his Subaru down to see the sites and even venture to the beach for a day. I was apprehensive about taking the trip now without him and all that we had planned, but my mom generously took his place on the trip and it was still a very pleasant time.
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I had moments of really missing Peter, as one can imagine. Peter and I never once saw the beach or so much as swam in a pool together, which I’m sure would have been wonderful. When my son wanted to try boogie boarding at Virginia Beach, I knew Peter would have been such an excellent teacher, having been an avid surfer when he lived on the west coast. And when we rented a surrey bike to pedal down the boardwalk, I missed him when after reserving and paying for a full two hours, we sadly found that I was the only one who could reach the pedals. People could walk faster than I navigated down the boardwalk heading for a treat at DQ, as my son advised loudly, “Mom, put your back into it!”
I wondered during our historical tours what questions Peter would have asked in Colonial Williamsburg and Jamestown Settlement, and what more we might have learned if he was with us. I will never know. He seemed to have a knack for turning an afternoon into an adventure, and my son adored and admired him. We still did have a very nice family trip, and at the end of the week my son proclaimed that the best part was “the historical stuff.”
But the late evenings were most challenging for me, when everything was quiet. Those were the times I knew with Peter I would have shared interesting conversation and music and laughter. I marveled, sitting alone, how in the months after his death I had somehow gotten used to being without his daily texts wishing me good morning and good night. The silence without speaking to or seeing him every day was at first maddening, and now it was my normal status, just as before I knew him.
I still miss Peter every day, but it is not an angry devastation, it is just a familiar ache, and so much more tolerable. The week spent with family was beautiful, and the historical sites were interesting. Being away from home helped me gain much-needed perspective about where I am headed now. I still have adventures to take, and places to see.
The second week of July Peter and I planned a trip to NC alone together, which I will not take without him. I scheduled to sit for Part 1 of the CIA Exam that Thursday, so I will be hitting the books almost all week. I am grateful to have something to toil away at, and I welcome the distraction. Hopefully the week will end with a sense of accomplishment despite our dashed plans.
Peter, there are more things to learn and amazing moments to come.
PS – I love you.
*Update: I passed Part 1 of the CIA Exam!!!!*
|About the author: Adria Nemeroff is a CPA currently residing near Allentown, PA. She began the Peter’s Pack series as a tribute to her departed companion and hiking partner Peter John Falkowski, who’s enthusiasm for the scenic outdoors and artistic talents for photographing landscapes inspired her to keep going outside. Peter’s Pack will now roam on adventures both familiar and new in loving memory of him.|